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工作学习 / English / Lovebeer, wjiang, egglinton,..... any other `Daxia`men, please take a look at my essay, what score can I get? please point out my errors, I will appreciate it. thank you.
-anitalee(moon river);
2001-3-28
{1546}
(#38241@0)
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A VERY ROUGH PROOF READING FOR YOU
-wjiang(wjiang);
2001-3-28
{1796}
(#38294@0)
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1。单复数的动词连接 混乱 2。 自创英文用法 3。 长且令人迷惑的句子 4。 ’THE‘的用法混乱。5。段落划分模糊 6。 主题不明显
-wjiang(wjiang);
2001-3-29
(#38297@0)
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看得我脸都红了， sorry for such a bad essay, I have to practice more.
Tahnk you, wjiang and Rachel
-anitalee(moon river);
2001-3-29
(#38422@0)
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噢， 是容光焕发吧？ 你写得不差， 我只是帮你多调点毛病， 好让你快点提高而已。让我写， 不见得比你好。虾坏咱妹子了吧？
-wjiang(wjiang);
2001-3-29
(#38436@0)
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you may get 4-4.5
-rlz7213(Rachel);
2001-3-29
{817}
(#38301@0)
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Any Ross here? haha...
-pasu(InTheSky);
2001-3-29
(#38424@0)
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Ross and Rachel have been broken, that's the reason why Rachel is here, probably is looking for some handsome man and fun!
-yellow(yellow);
2001-3-29
(#38426@0)
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They reuioned at the next day ...hehe...Did you miss that stage?
-pasu(InTheSky);
2001-3-29
(#38477@0)
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I am totally confused who is Ross and what was the relationship between "Rachel" and "Ross". I got this name on my first working day after graduation and was given by a very nice old american man. Someone told me this is a jewish name.
-rlz7213(Rachel);
2001-3-29
(#38581@0)
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Please come in.1. The structure of the essay is not clear. I suggest you build a template for TOEFL essay writing and put every topic in this template. The structure of essay will improve dramatically;
2. As Jiang said, pay more attention to odd / plural numbers;
3. So many sentence are in Chinglish style. That means when you write this eaasy you translate Chinese into English. This is a bad habbit for all non-native writers. Try to avoid it;
4. Too many paragraphs.
-daqiao(Bill);
2001-3-29
{465}
(#38435@0)
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看到你这么好的文章都被激昂说的遍体鳞伤，我都没脸活了
-eglington(eglington);
2001-3-29
(#38439@0)
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多么怜香惜玉呀。 王老五同志们， 好好学学 EGG 的功夫。
-wjiang(wjiang);
2001-3-29
(#38444@0)
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Egg 到底结婚没有? 不是说都快升级做爸爸了吗?
-guest:糊涂了;
2001-3-29
(#38493@0)
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我揭发！EGG的确快做爸爸了，但他有一颗年轻的心。。。
-beibei(beibei);
2001-3-29
(#38494@0)
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年轻的心 好象不太恰当． 应该说是 ＂野＂ 心．
-bloor(bloor);
2001-3-29
(#38496@0)
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正因为eglington同志懂得.......所以他要升级做爸爸了，所以各位........同志要向eglington学两招
-guest:冰儿;
2001-3-29
(#38499@0)
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拳不离手，曲不离口。EGG同志虽然离开了摸爬滚打了半辈子的工作岗位，但是功夫还是在的。呵呵。
-pasu(InTheSky);
2001-3-29
(#38501@0)
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好汉不提当年勇了
-eglington(eglington);
2001-3-29
(#38497@0)
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Egg 是个坏孩子， jiang 是个好同志。
-anitalee(moon river);
2001-3-29
(#38509@0)
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孩子和同志不是一个等级吧。坏孩子长大了可以变成好同志。
-beibei(beibei);
2001-3-29
(#38514@0)
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but somebody never can grow up.bei bei, are you from shanghai?
How many "beibei"s do we have? I am confused.
-anitalee(moon river);
2001-3-29
(#38516@0)
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You will have the answer till next Thursday. Let's wait......
-beibei(beibei);
2001-3-29
(#38518@0)
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他都是因为掩护我才弄成这样的。革命老区的群众觉悟就是高娃
-wjiang(wjiang);
2001-3-29
(#38584@0)
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ooooh,really. so you are ...
-anitalee(moon river);
2001-3-29
(#38640@0)
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看吧，WJIANG这位好同志也是坏孩子变的。
-beibei(beibei);
2001-3-29
(#38644@0)
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对不起，我来晚了。不过 Wjiang, Rachel, 和 Bill 已经把该说的说了。好好准备考试，下周烤肉大会上比比谁吃得多吧。
-diao_david(LoveBeer);
2001-3-29
(#38536@0)