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A rather confident 007 walks into a bar

A rather confident 007 walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I've just been given this state-of-the-art watch by Q and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me", he explains.
"What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!"

Bond tut tuts, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
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  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / 【Church fun.】
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a newly wed couple go to their local church to apply to be a members of their congregation .

    "all of you would make fine additions to the church" the priest says..
    "All we ask is that you refrain from from having sex for two weeks. Please come back in two weeks and let us know how it goes"

    TWO WEEKS LATER

    The priest address the couples. He looks towards the elderly couple
    "it has been two weeks....how did you do"

    The elderly husband replies " its been years since we had sex so what was two more weeks"
    The priest replies " so no sex?"
    "no sex" replies the elderly man
    "congratulations you are a member of the church" replies the priest who then addresses the middle age couple "and how did you do?"

    The wife replies " the first week was fine, but by the 2nd week things we getting tough so I had my husband sleep on the couch."
    Th priest replies " so no sex?"
    "no sex" replies the woman
    "congratulations you are a member of the church" the priest then addresses the newly weds " and how did you do?"

    The husband looks at the priest..." Everything was going great, then I saw her reaching up to the top shelf for a can of corn and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up I just took her right then and there."

    The priest looks at the couple and says " I'm sorry but you are not allowed in the church any more". The husband replies " I kinda figured......we aren't allowed in the grocery store anymore either."

    PS :---- I am still allowed to telling you guys jokes here @ROLIA !
    Mohahahaha☆*:.。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • LOL
    • A rather confident 007 walks into a bar
      A rather confident 007 walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

      The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
      "No", he replies, "I've just been given this state-of-the-art watch by Q and I was just testing it."

      The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
      "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me", he explains.
      "What's it telling you now?"
      "Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers..."
      The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!"

      Bond tut tuts, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."