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Animal control

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A man was quietly watching television at home, when he hears a sound on the roof of his house and rushes out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home he promptly calls up the local zoo autorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped.

He is reassured that a gorilla recovering unit is on the way and to remain calm.

A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulls up to the house. The elderly driver proceed to recover from the back of the truck, a chihuahua dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat and a 12 gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla who had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap ask him how he will go about doing this.

As he hands him over the .12 gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explains the plan: 'First I'll climb up there with the ladder, then I approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat; As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained chihuahua dog will attack its private parts.'

'When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will have lowered it's hands to it's groin area to protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip on the handcuffs.'

'Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up and take him back to the zoo...'

Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled house owner asks why he was handed the .12 gauge shotgun?

'Well... ' explains the experienced gorilla retriever, 'It's just a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event that once on the roof the gorilla knocks me off with the baseball bat.

Shoot the dog...'更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / You must be single...
    A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

    As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.

    While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

    The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status.

    Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"







    The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly."
    • That's such a mean guy!
      • :) !
        • You don't know you're beautiful, Oh oh, That what makes you beautiful.
        • You don't know you're ugly, Oh oh, That what makes you ugly.
    • A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
      Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for a clue. The dad said -"Well, it's what Mommy calls me sometimes."

      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an a**hole"!
      • LOL! Good one I thought was dead beat.
    • Animal control
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A man was quietly watching television at home, when he hears a sound on the roof of his house and rushes out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home he promptly calls up the local zoo autorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped.

      He is reassured that a gorilla recovering unit is on the way and to remain calm.

      A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulls up to the house. The elderly driver proceed to recover from the back of the truck, a chihuahua dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat and a 12 gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla who had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap ask him how he will go about doing this.

      As he hands him over the .12 gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explains the plan: 'First I'll climb up there with the ladder, then I approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat; As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained chihuahua dog will attack its private parts.'

      'When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will have lowered it's hands to it's groin area to protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip on the handcuffs.'

      'Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up and take him back to the zoo...'

      Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled house owner asks why he was handed the .12 gauge shotgun?

      'Well... ' explains the experienced gorilla retriever, 'It's just a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event that once on the roof the gorilla knocks me off with the baseball bat.

      Shoot the dog...'更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net