本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across
campus when one said, "Where did you get such a
great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The
engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must
have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George!
Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group
of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let
them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a
special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's
anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at
night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical
Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil
Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why
does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How
much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want
fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the possible designers of the human
body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections. "
The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline
through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were
discussing whether it was better to spend time with
the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
because the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both." Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,
they will each assume you are spending time with
the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
some work done."
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a
frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll
turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled
at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried
out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and
put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told
you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you
for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you
kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
Two engineering students were walking across
campus when one said, "Where did you get such a
great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking
along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good
choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the
pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer,
the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The
engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must
have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never
seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens
keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George!
Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group
of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let
them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a
special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's
anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at
night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical
Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil
Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why
does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How
much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want
fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together
discussing the possible designers of the human
body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections. "
The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil
engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline
through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were
discussing whether it was better to spend time with
the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
because the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both." Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,
they will each assume you are spending time with
the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
some work done."
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a
frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll
turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled
at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried
out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and
put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told
you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you
for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you
kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't
have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net