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  • 予人玫瑰,手有余香:加拿大新天地工作移民诚聘求职顾问&行业导师!
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  • 予人玫瑰,手有余香:加拿大新天地工作移民诚聘求职顾问&行业导师!

Insult Lines, 类似国内的手机短信.慎用啊.

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛1. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

2. He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

4. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

5. At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!

6. Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing

7. Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!

8. I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.

9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

10. If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents!

11. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

12. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

13. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

14. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

15. Don't think, it may sprain your brain!

16. Fellows like you don't grow from trees; they swing from them.

17. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.

18. He has a mind like a steel trap, always closed!

19. You are a man of the world and you know what sad shape the world is in.

20. He is always lost in thought it's unfamiliar territory.

21. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

22. He is known as a miracle comic. if he's funny, it's a miracle!

23. He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?

24. He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

25. He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.

26. He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

27. How come you're here? I thought the zoo is closed at night!

28. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

29. How much refund do you expect on your head now that it's empty.

30. How would you like to feel the way you look?

31. Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?

32. I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in the next 10 years?

33. I don't want you to turn the other cheek; it's just as ugly.

34. I don't know who you are, but whatever you are, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.

35. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

36. I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

37. I can't seem to remember your name, and please don't help me!

38. I don't even like the people you're trying to imitate, if you are at all.

39. I know you were born silly, but why did you have a relapse?

40. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!

41. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!

42. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

43. Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that's very typical of you.

44. Do u practice being this ugly?更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / 娱乐下, 贴几个关于旅游的老笑话.
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.



    A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"



    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.



    I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."



    Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."



    A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!



    A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.




    I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."



    A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."



    A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."



    A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • Could not understand the first one before consulting my LD. ^_^
    • the "FAT" one is hilarious. lol
    • 哈哈哈哈,很少看到这么好笑的笑话了,还有么?再讲几个。
    • Insult Lines, 类似国内的手机短信.慎用啊.
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛1. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

      2. He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

      3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

      4. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

      5. At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!

      6. Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing

      7. Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!

      8. I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.

      9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

      10. If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents!

      11. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

      12. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

      13. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

      14. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

      15. Don't think, it may sprain your brain!

      16. Fellows like you don't grow from trees; they swing from them.

      17. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.

      18. He has a mind like a steel trap, always closed!

      19. You are a man of the world and you know what sad shape the world is in.

      20. He is always lost in thought it's unfamiliar territory.

      21. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

      22. He is known as a miracle comic. if he's funny, it's a miracle!

      23. He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?

      24. He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

      25. He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.

      26. He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

      27. How come you're here? I thought the zoo is closed at night!

      28. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

      29. How much refund do you expect on your head now that it's empty.

      30. How would you like to feel the way you look?

      31. Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?

      32. I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in the next 10 years?

      33. I don't want you to turn the other cheek; it's just as ugly.

      34. I don't know who you are, but whatever you are, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.

      35. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

      36. I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

      37. I can't seem to remember your name, and please don't help me!

      38. I don't even like the people you're trying to imitate, if you are at all.

      39. I know you were born silly, but why did you have a relapse?

      40. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!

      41. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!

      42. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

      43. Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that's very typical of you.

      44. Do u practice being this ugly?更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • 真够损嗬嗬
    • 加拿大的客服
      Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. My name is ***, how can I help you?

      Customer: *distinct southern accent* “Where am I calling?”

      Me: “*** technical support. Are you having trouble with your internet, sir?”

      Customer: “I know that. I mean, what part of the world?”

      Me: “I’m in Canada, sir. Is there something I can help you with?”

      Customer: “Canada?! You have internet up in Canada?”

      Me, sarcastically: “Nope…just got radio, in fact I
      had to drive my dog sled into work. There was a horrible accident and I
      lost two dogs. It’s been a rough day.”

      Customer: “Oh…well, I want technical support from a country who actually has it.” *click*

      Supervisor monitoring calls: “You can’t be serious.”