本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Six consecutive days of spring rain had created a raging river running by Nancy Brown"s farm.As she tried to herd her cows to higher ground,she slipped and hit her head on a fallen tree trunk.The fall knocked her out for a moment or two.When she came to ,Lizzie,one of her oldest and favorite cows,was licking her face.The water was rising.Nancy got up and began walking slowly with Lizzie.The water was now waist high.Nancy's pace got slower and slower.Finally,all she could do was to throw her arm around Lizzie's neck and try to hang on.About 20 minutes later,Lizzie managed to successfully pull herself and Nancy out of the raging water and onto a bit of high land,a mall island now in the middle of acres of white water.
Even though it was about noon,the sky was so dark and rain and lightning so bad that it took rescuers another two hours to discover Nancy.A helicopter lowered a paramedic ,who attached Nancy to a life-support hoist.They raised her into the helicopter and took her to the school gym,where the Red Cross had set up an emergency shelter.

When the flood subsided two days later,Nancy immediately went back to the "island".Lizzie was gone.She was one of 19 cows that Nancy lost."I owe my life to her"said Nancy sobbingly.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

A old man was slightly injured on saturday while waiting in his brand new convertible in a drive-through lane at Burger Prince restaurant.Herman Sherman of Northville suffered a mild burn about 9:00 pm when a young female employee accidentally spilled a cup of coffee into his lap.Sherman said the coffee was hot but not scalding.
He refused medical aid,saying the only problem was the stain on his slacks,but it would wash out.He was given a fresh refill.Before Sherman drove off,the restaurant manager,John Johnson,gave him two gift certificates-one for an extra-large coffee and one for restaurant newest sandwich,the McRap.
The empoyee,who was a new hire,was let go later that evening.She was quite upset.She said she probably sue Burger Prince for letting her go.She said it was the's fault for ordering something that she might be able to spill.

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A fifteen-year-old boy was injured in a car acident when the minivan he was traveling in was hit by a pickup truck at an intersection.The boy was taken to a nearby hospital.The paramedic said that it appeared that the boy had nothing more serous than a broken left leg,but that internal injuried were always a possibility.The boy was conscious and alert.His mother,who was driving,was uninjured.She said that the truck appeared out of nowhere, and she thought she was going to die.She turned the steering wheel sharply to left,and the truck hit her minivan on the passeger side.
The driver of the truck was a 50-year-old man who was unemployed and apparentlyhad been drinking-police found 18 empty beer cans inside the truck.The man denied drinking,but he failed the police test for sobriety.When asked to touch his nose with his arms outstretched and eyes closed,he was unable to touch any part of his head.
The handcuffed man asked the police if they knew where "Mabel"was as he was put into the back seat of the police vehicle.The police asked him if Mabel was his wife.He said ,"She is my dog,my dog! Where is my baby?" A dog with a collar,but no identification,was found minutes later,half a block away.The man was taked to the city jail and booked on suspicion of driving while intoxicated and on causing an accident.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛John Baldwin was 30 years old.He was the manager of a pizza restaurant.He lived in an apartment about one kilometer north of the restaurant.He walked to and from work.When it was raining,he took the bus.
John loved gangster movies.When a new one came out,he would go to the theater and watch the new movie three or four times.Then when it went to video,John would buy the video at Blockbuster Video store.John had a home collection of over 1000 gangster videos.Old ones,new ones,black and white,English,Spanish,Japanese-he loved them all.He could tell you the name of the movie,the director,the stars,and the plot.Did you say you liked "pulp Fiction"?Well,John would rattle off all the details of that movie.And then he would invite you to his place to watch it some time.He was a nice guy.
John finally decided that he would like to own agun,just like the gangsters.So he saved his money for a couple of years.Then he went a gun store and bought a used .38 caliber revolver for $300. While there,he also bought a couple of boxes of ammunition.The following Saturday morning,he went to the gun club to practice with his new revolver.He was in the club for only 10 minutes when he accidentally dropped his pistol.The gun went off,and the bullet went into John's right knee.
John now walks with a limp and a cane,just like some gangsters.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A man was taken to a hospital and then to county jail after leading police on a highway chase in a stolen vehicle.The chase ended in downtown Toronto in front of the Spring Hotel.Most of the chase was uneventful,except for an empty bottle of whiskey that the diiver threw at one police vehicle.
When the driver got into downtown,things started to happen.He ran over a fire hydrant.The water spewed out of the hydrant,causing a geyser that ruined all the books in several carts that a vendor had put outside to attract customers into his bookstore.The driver hurriedly turned west onto Grand Avenue and managed to bang into three parked cars on one side of that street and two cars on the other side.The driver also tried to run over a police officer,who was standing in the crosswalk ordering him to halt.
Turning north,the driver caused a bus to slam on its brakes to avoid a collision.The bus empty,and the bus driver was uninjured.However,two police cars that were pursuing the car from different directions were not so lucky.One of them ran into the front the bus,and other into the back.Because the drivers had braked early enough,the damage to their cars was minor.Both officers resumed the chase
They only went two blocks north to find that the car had come to a full shop because it had plowed into a newspaper stand.The driver,who was not wearing a seatbelt,was slumped behaind the steering wheel.The proprietor of the newsstand was yelling at the driver and shaking a magazine at him.The police called for the ambulance.They charged the driver with failure to yield to a police officer and driving under the influence.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

Sam,an unemployed piano tuner,said it was only the second thing he had ever won in his life.The first thing was an Afghan blanket at a church raffle when he was 25 years old.But this was much bigger:it was $120,000!He had won the Big Cube,a state lottery game.To win,a contestant must first guess which number a spinning cube will stop on.The cube has six number on it:1X,10X,50X,100X,500X,and 1000X.If he is correct,the contestant must then guess which of two selected variables is going to be greater.So,just guessing which number appears on the cube dose not guarantee that you will win any money.
Sam correctly guessed 1000X,but he still had to choose between two variables.One variable was the number of cars that would run the stop sign at Hil Street and Lake Avenue in six hours.The other variable was the number of time that a teenage boy would change TV channels in a three-four period.This was a tough decision. (1)

Finally,Sam flipped a coin.It came up heads so Sam picked the teenager.He picked right.The stop sign was run only 76 times,but the teen clicked 120 times.Sixty-year-old Sam jumped for joy,for he had just won 1000 times 120,or $120,000.Sam dreamily left the lottery stidio. Talking excitedly on his cell phone while crossing the street,he got hit by a little sports car.
Sam is slowly getting better.He was in the hospital for a month.His hospital bill was $110,000.And the insurance company for the little sports car's owner sued Sam for $9,000 worth of repairs.Also,Sam has to pay federal taxes on his winnings. Sam doesn't play the state lottery any more.He says it's better to be unlucky.

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Inmates released two correctional officers they had held for a week in the tower at the state prison complex.The inmates capture the offices a week ago after the two officers tried to quell a food fight in the main dinning room.The food fight erupted when the prisoners discovered that their candy ration had been cut in half.The candy is a popular bartering item.Inmates trade it for cigarettes,cigars,magazines,stationery,legal dictionaries,and other items.Prison officials said it was necessary to cut back on this luxuryitem in order to provide basic item,like soap and razors and toilet paper.
The prisoners went berserk over the reduction.They threw food,plates,and silverware at the doors,windows,and guards.Then they grabbed two guards and hauled them up to the tower.Once they had the tower door secured,they sent messages to prison officials demanding big bags of candy in exchange for sparing the guards'lives.The warden complied with their demands.After a week of negotiations.the prisoners approved a deal which restored their candy ration,but in return the administration said they would have to reduce daily soap allotments by 75 percent.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Two major made a bet on the outcome of the Vegetable Bowl,the annual football game between their high school teams.If Arvada's team lost,the major of Arvada would send the major of Boulder ten pounds of sliced potatoes,ready for frying.If Boulder's team lost, the major would send ten pounds of sliced tomayoes,ready for sandwiches or salads.
Unfortunately,before the game started,the major of Boulder overheard the Arvada major tell someone:"They grow the worst tomatoes.If they lose and send us their tomatoes,I am going to give them all to my pig." The major of Boulder was upset to hear this,because he thought Boulder's tomatoes were the best in the state.So he give the matter some thought.
The following week,the big game was played. Boulder lost its star quarterback in the first half when he tripped over a cheerleader and sprained his big toe. The qaurterback glumly watched the rest of the game from the bench.His team ended up losing,38 to 12.The two majors shook hands after the game,and the Arvada major said,"I'm really looking forward to those tomatoes."As the Boulder team left the stadium,some unhappy fans threw ripe tomatoes at them.
A week later,the major of Arvada received a package of beautifully sliced tomatoes.He took them straight to his pig,which gobbled them right up.That night the major of Boulder asked his wife if Arvada had called."No,"she said."Why?""Because I mixed a pint of hot sauce into the tomatoes and I want to know how his pig's doing."更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Goats are being hired to do the work of men in a neighborhood just outside of Toronto.The fires that occurred in Hillborough four years ago destroyed thirty homes,most of which have been rebuilt. While contractors were rebuilding the homes,nature was regrowing the grasses,bushes,amd shrubs.The area is now so overgrown in brush that it again poses a major fire hazard.
The city council asked for bids to remove the brush.The lowest bid they received was $50,000.And that was if the city provided breakfast and lunch for the work crews for the six weeks it would take to clear the overgrown area.The city countered,offering unlimited coffee(black only) and a doughnut a day for each crew member.When that offer was rejected,the city asked for help on its website.
A sheepherder in Alberta and a goatherder in Manitoba read aboutthe city's plight while surfing the web on their laptops.They both offered to do the job for $25,000.The council chose the goatherdeer because he lived closer.When told that the city dump was overflowing,the goatherder said,"No problem.My goats will eat everything in your dump.Except for the automabile engines,of course." So,for another $5,000,the city killed two birds with one stone.If all goes well,they will invite the goatherder and his "family"back every three years.The goatherder said he will probably visit Alberta while his goats are in the dump."I want to take one of those hang-glider rides.I just hope we don't crash.My goats would miss me a lot,"he said.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛The owner of a missing cat is asking for help."My baby has been missing for over a month now,and I want him back so badly," said Mrs.Brown, a 56-years-old woman.Mrs. Brown lives by herself in a trailer park near North York.She said that Clyde,her 7-years-old cat,didn't come home for dinner more than a month ago.The next morning he didn't appear for breakfast either.After Clyde missed an extra-special lunch,she called the police.
When the policeman asked her to describe Clyde,she told him that Clyde had beautiful green eyes,had all his teeth but was missing half of his left ear,and was seven years old and completely white.She then told the officer that Clyde was about a foot high.
A bell went off."Is Clyde your child or your pet?"the officer suspiciously asked."Well,he's my cat,of course,"Mrs.Brown replied."Lady,you're supposed to report missing PERSONS,not missing CATS,"said the irritated policeman."Well,who can I report this to?"she asked."You can't.You have to ask around your neighborhood or put up flyers,"replied the officer.
Mrs.Brown figured that a billboard would work a lot better than an 8"x11"piece of paper on a telephone pole.There was an empty billboard at the end of her street just off the interstate highway.The billboard had a phone number on it.She called that number,and they told her they could blow up a picture of Clyde (from Mrs. Brown's family album) and put it on the billboard for all to see.
"But how can people see it when they whiz by on the interstate?"she asked."Oh,don't worry,ma'am,they only whiz by between 2 am and 5:30 am.The rest of the day.the interstates is so full of commuters that no one moves."They told her it would cost only $3000 a month.So she took most of money out of her saving account and rented the billboard for a month.
The month has passed,but Clyde has not appeared.Because she has no money in savings,Mrs.Brown called the local newspaper to see if anyone could help her rent the billboard for just one more month.She is waiting but,so far,no one has stepped forward.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A man accused of failing to return than 700 children's books to five different libraries in the county was released from jail yesterday after a book publisher agreed to post his bond of $1000. The publisher said,"There's a story here.This is a man who love books.He just can't let go of them.He hasn't stolen a single book.So what's the crime?We think that Mr.Barush has a story to tell.We plan to publish his story.
When asked why he didn't return the books,Mr.Barush said,"Well,how could I? They became family to me.I was afraid to return them,because I knew that kids or dogs would get hold of these books and chew up,throw them around,rip the pages,spill soda on them,get jam and jelly on them,and drown them in the toilet."
He continued,"Books are people,too! They talk to you,they take care of you,and they enrich you with wisdom and humor and love.A book is my guest in my home.How could I kick it out? I repaired torn pages.I dusted them with a soft clean cloth.I turned their pages so they could breathe and get some fresh air.
"Every week I reorganized them on their shelves so they could meet new friends.My books were HAPPY books. You could tell just by looking at them.Now they are all back in the library,on the lower shelves,on the floors,at the mercy of all those runny-nosed kids.I can hear from calling me! I need to rescue them.Excuse me.I have to go now."更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net